You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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