from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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