Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
