I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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