she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
