You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
