Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
