i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize