god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He passed out mid-signature
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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