ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
