If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm having to shit out rocks
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