Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
