woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
