tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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