take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
