alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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