her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Less talking, more tequila
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize