It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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