I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
