I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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