my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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