pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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