you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize