Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
