U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
