sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
