Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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