It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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