I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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