we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
