We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
