How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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