I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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