make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
