I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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