I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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