i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
