Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
