Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
