I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
