I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
its not stalking. its research.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
NoShamevember. You game?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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