I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
