nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
