Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
