So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
