ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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