you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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