just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
