Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
