Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
we're so committed to being not committed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
