i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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