Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
