This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
