remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
