never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize