We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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