I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
