I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
