I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Everyone says I win the strip club
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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