Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dick very happy bro
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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