i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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