lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
