Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
